Desert Before Dinner (Remake)

[Comix]

I'm (possibly) remaking the old comic Desert Before Dinner that I had running a good few months ago which failed pretty badly into a full page more character driven comic. I'm focusing more on the art style on this one then the humour, but I'll still keep that a focus.

Here is the 'pilot' of it and I'd love some feedback to see which direction I should take it.

[Alpha Six]

I'm gonna sound like a douche here but

what is so god damn hard about using "your" and "you're" correctly?

[Rookery Dookery]

Well, you're talking to a guy who has "then" in his title when it should be "than".

But anyway, seems okay so far. I'd like to see a little more, before deciding...

[LilGrim1991]

I like the characters, plenty of creative potential. Also, change the font, its kinda hard to read. You seem to be using Photoshop, but I'd suggest using or finding Illustrator to give you more possible poses.

But yeah, work a bit on the humor. Try building the characters a little before you introduce an actual story, even if the comic is in episodic style, just find some general goal for the characters.

[SSL Hedgie]

(03-27-2009 10:47 AM)Osiris Wrote:  I'm gonna sound like a douche here but

what is so god damn hard about using "your" and "you're" correctly?

We should give me him a negative rating. That's what he does if he doesn't like a comic, lol.

My opinion on this, it didn't entertain me.
Is there a plot of any sort?
Cute idea though.

[Comix]

(03-27-2009 10:47 AM)Osiris Wrote:  I'm gonna sound like a douche here but

what is so god damn hard about using "your" and "you're" correctly?

"You are the only one who doesn't believe it" is correct... 'Your' would be somebody's object or thing and the rock, in this circumstance is a living object, so You're would be correct in this situation.

I'll post an updated version of the first page when I update with the second.

EDIT: oh shit I looked at the wrong Your... I'll fix that right now.

[Skink]

(03-27-2009 06:04 PM)SSL Hedgie Wrote:  My opinion on this, it didn't entertain me.
Is there a plot of any sort?
Cute idea though.

I'm not really expecting much a plot in the first comic. I like it so far, I mean its not bad at all.

Edit: Comix I think he meant the "Your an idiot" part

[Comix]

*Fixed text and the grammatical error.

[Skink]

wow you're fast

[SSL Hedgie]

I guess the 2nd issue will be better. Not that many mistakes anyways. Cool

[PrettyNier]

For some reason I am vaguely reminded of Knytt. It seems to have some potential.

[Skink]

(03-27-2009 10:13 PM)Gizmonicgamer Wrote:  For some reason I am vaguely reminded of Knytt. It seems to have some potential.

Just reminded me of Don't Eat the Mushrooms now that you said it.

[Comix]

Page 2;

[kyrtuck]

Enter: the token pot-head. Heh, nice. I'm like'n it.

How far did the earlier version of this go?

[Comix]

Not very far. They were something I needed to have an abortion on before it started.

You can read the original series here.