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Proofreading and Suggestions please?

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Proofreading and Suggestions please?
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GrooveMan.exe Offline
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Post: #1
Proofreading and Suggestions please?
http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/1466/...09demo.jpg

Dummy layout for my next page. It's pretty much done, but I can't help but feel the text can be tweaked to feel more Pokédex/Nature Guide like. There might also be typos I've not picked up on.

Can people read this over and give me their thoughts?
Specs 'n' Headphones has been revamped! Check it, yo.
[Image: 10y3mgj.png][Image: groove-1.gif]
Thanks to Pik and Solink; they are sexy people. <3
10-04-2010 07:10 PM
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Proton Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
It looks like you can format the Do Say and the Don't Say to be directly under the picture.

The black font could be changed.
It doesn't really match the theme you're going for.

I'm not a huge fan of the header.
The font at the top looks like it's got anti-aliasing at some parts and not at others.
[Image: FmY9K.jpg]
10-04-2010 09:30 PM
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RandomPerson78642 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
I like it.

The only thing that stood out to me was that the bright green slightly clashes with the faded blue.

Then again, I'm no fashion expert, so please ignore my ramblings. Tongue
10-05-2010 01:35 AM
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Sol Offline
spirit of the sun, shine on everyone
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Post: #4
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
I enjoyed it, but I caught some typos in the Retro Gamer paragraph. "They Gamestation and the market for rare second-hand gems," and "Retro Gamers are most likely resort to eBay instead."
10-05-2010 02:01 AM
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GrooveMan.exe Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
Thanks, Devin has actually given me all the typos, so they've since been corrected. It's more in the way of if anything would benefit from rewording.

The Black font has to stay black as per how newspaper formatting works. The topmost header can't change for the same reason, and I'm rather partial to the 'Games' Banner. Everything else is duly noted.
Specs 'n' Headphones has been revamped! Check it, yo.
[Image: 10y3mgj.png][Image: groove-1.gif]
Thanks to Pik and Solink; they are sexy people. <3
10-05-2010 10:51 AM
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Dazz Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
Neckbeard's Don't Say bit is odd. Ends in a " for no reason.
[Image: szQ0awf.gif] Dave Matthews Band - Grey Street [Image: szQ0awf.gif]
Oh look at how she listens... She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories staring out onto Grey Street.
But she thinks, "Hey... How did I come to this? I dreamed myself a million times around the world but I can't get out of this place."
There's an emptiness inside her and she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though its red blood bleeding from her now, it felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
When all the colors mix together to grey, and it breaks her heart...

How she wishes it was different... She prays to God almost every night.
And though she swears He doesn't listen, there's a hope in her that he just might.
She says "I pray! Oh, but they fall on deaf ears... Am I supposed to take it on myself to get out of this place?"
10-05-2010 10:59 PM
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Woppet* Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
'They Gamestation and the market for rare second hand gems.
This sentance doesn't make all that much sense to me?
Maybe it should be:
'They shop at Gamestation and the market for-'' ?

Anyway looks good.
10-06-2010 10:00 AM
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GrooveMan.exe Offline
BEATS IN BEATS IN BEATS
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Post: #8
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
I said I'd gotten all the typos! :V

But yeah, those have been noted, and corrected in the original document.
Specs 'n' Headphones has been revamped! Check it, yo.
[Image: 10y3mgj.png][Image: groove-1.gif]
Thanks to Pik and Solink; they are sexy people. <3
10-06-2010 12:09 PM
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Dazz Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
I consider those gramatical, not typo. You dingleborry.
[Image: szQ0awf.gif] Dave Matthews Band - Grey Street [Image: szQ0awf.gif]
Oh look at how she listens... She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories staring out onto Grey Street.
But she thinks, "Hey... How did I come to this? I dreamed myself a million times around the world but I can't get out of this place."
There's an emptiness inside her and she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though its red blood bleeding from her now, it felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
When all the colors mix together to grey, and it breaks her heart...

How she wishes it was different... She prays to God almost every night.
And though she swears He doesn't listen, there's a hope in her that he just might.
She says "I pray! Oh, but they fall on deaf ears... Am I supposed to take it on myself to get out of this place?"
10-06-2010 04:20 PM
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GrooveMan.exe Offline
BEATS IN BEATS IN BEATS
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Posts: 3,635
Joined: May 2008
Reputation: 78
Post: #10
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
You're a dingleborry. =I
Specs 'n' Headphones has been revamped! Check it, yo.
[Image: 10y3mgj.png][Image: groove-1.gif]
Thanks to Pik and Solink; they are sexy people. <3
10-06-2010 04:26 PM
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RandomPerson78642 Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
What in the world is a dingleborry?
10-06-2010 09:35 PM
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[-] Thanked by
Mighty Jetters (05-10-2011)
Woppet* Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
You're all dingleborries.
10-06-2010 09:38 PM
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Nindo Offline
It's that bearded fellow!
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Post: #13
RE: Proofreading and Suggestions please?
What a gas!
好love好
ref=Comrade>/Bk/C2B/Gors,1,2/魚/Sploder/
ref=Nindo>/Apk/Bk/Green/魚/unno/
misc>/Diogalesu/
[Image: fFrame1Big.gif][Image: Frame1Big.gif]
[devart]
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2010 11:55 PM by Nindo.)
10-06-2010 11:53 PM
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